Rumptacrazy
Rebranding of the Monroe Doctrine
The absurdist theater of American foreign policy has long relied on a specific brand of nonsensical farce dressed up in the vestments of alleged democratic alignment, human rights, and hemispheric solidarity — a polite way of announcing: we can do whatever the hell we want from Mexico to Chile, and every place in between, because the billionaires ordained it so. But the USA is the Naked Emperor now, and the burlesque has turned brazen. Not even red, white, and blue pasties. The Emperor of Democrazy has shown his true colors: blatant white nationalism, the mass incarceration of African Americans, the imprisonment of US citizens without due process, the revocation of citizenship, and carte blanche for the Rump’s family and cronies to loot the republic at will. Strip away what remains of the teleprompter rhetoric, and the reality exposes what can only be described as a continental racket — a rapacious, century-long adventure of land-grabbing, oil-snatching, and systematic subversion stretching from the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Santiago de Chile. And now, with the Rump’s single-handed declarations of war and annexation against Cuba, Venezuela, and the latest catastrophic fiasco in Iran, the burlesque has metastasized into something darker and more dangerous than farce.
Major General Smedley Butler, the most decorated Marine in American history and a man who spent thirty-three years doing the dirty work personally, understood the machinery from the inside. The only purpose of this imperial enterprise, Butler wrote, is to make the rich richer, and the poor, poorer. He knew. He was the muscle. He made Mexico safe for American oil interests, made Haiti and Cuba decent places for National City Bank to collect revenues, and helped rape a dozen Central American republics for the benefit of Wall Street. The Monroe Doctrine, stripped of its democratic costuming, is Butler’s racket in a dinner jacket.
George Washington saw what was coming. In his Farewell Address of 1796, he warned — in terms that read today like an open indictment — to beware of cunning, ambitious, and unprincipled men who would subvert the power of the people and usurp the reins of government, and then destroy the very engines that lifted them there. He was describing a mechanism, not a man. He was describing a system. He was describing this.
Today, that system has culminated in a bizarre, modern political mutation: the Rumptocracy.
The Rumptocracy is a system characterized by a leadership of such profound, self-absorbed “vision” that it has no need for eyes, its head being buried securely within its own anatomy. where a flatulent ensues that passes for strategic reason. Indecipherable to any rational interpreter. Yet out of this gaseous fog comes a calculated, ruthless assault on the sovereign nations of the Caribbean, Latin America, the Middle East, and world. In short, Rumptocracy is at war with the world, with tariffs inexplicably place on friends and foes.
We have just witnessed the extraordinary spectacle of a sitting South American president — Nicolás Maduro of Venezuela — dragged from his home in a 2 a.m. military raid, bombed out of Caracas without a single declaration of war from Congress, and flown to a Brooklyn detention center to face charges in Manhattan federal court. In its wake, thirty-two Cuban soldiers lay dead on Venezuelan soil. Havana declared two days of national mourning. The White House called it a counter-narcotics operation.
Simultaneously, the Department of Justice is preparing to indict Cuba’s 94-year-old former president, Raúl Castro, over the 1996 shootdown of two unarmed humanitarian planes over the Florida Straits, killing four Cuban-Americans. The charges are expected to be announced on May 20th. Cuban Independence Day. One does not schedule a political spectacle for Cuban Independence Day by accident. The timing is the message: we own even your liberation.
If you want to understand why the United States remains hell-bent on suffocating Cuba after seventy years of economic blockade, ignore the speeches about freedom and see where the money leads — to the Trump family and their cronies. No wonder Kushner brags of resorts and club med facilities in Gaza, after the slightly awkward problem of two million Palestinians bombed out of their homes.
The brief window of diplomatic sunshine offered during the Obama and Biden administrations simply closed. In its place, the Trump administration’s May 2026 Executive Order 14404 has radically expanded the sanctions architecture into a sweeping regime targeting not just Cuba, but any foreign bank, company, or government that dares do business with the island. Today, Cuba has completely run out of diesel and fuel oil. The national grid has collapsed seven times in eighteen months. A single blackout on March 16 plunged the entire island into darkness for twenty-nine consecutive hours. Hospitals are on emergency generators. In Havana and across the eastern provinces, blackouts now routinely last twenty-two hours a day. Cuba’s own Energy Minister confirmed it with brutal candor on May 14th: there is absolutely no fuel, no diesel. None. Only the gas that bleeds from domestic wells and locally produced crude — nowhere near enough to keep the lights on for ten million people.
Traditional lifelines from Russia and Venezuela have been choked off. Mexico’s state oil company was barred from sending supplies under threat of tariffs. The administration calls all of this concern for the Cuban people, while coldly engineering a state of starvation — then paradoxically offering a conditional $100 million in humanitarian aid, contingent on distribution through the Catholic Church rather than the government. The United States breaks a man’s legs, then offers him a branded crutch. And in case that message was too subtle, Trump floated parking an aircraft carrier one hundred yards off the Cuban coastline. “They’ll say: ‘Thank you very much. We give up,’” he mused.
The driving force behind this cruelty is not geopolitical strategy. It is the commercial ambition of the Florida Republican machine. Spearheaded by Marco Rubio — a man whose close friend and former roommate David Rivera was just convicted of illegally lobbying for Maduro’s Venezuela, and who had to testify at the trial himself — this policy is fueled by a very specific historical resentment. They mourn the Cuba of 1958 — a playground owned by US corporations and the American Mafia, where the local population existed to serve cocktails and change hotel linen. When Fidel Castro overthrew that corrupt playground in 1959 and promised “Cuba for Cubans,” his unforgivable transgression was expelling the mobsters and the corporate overlords. For all his authoritarian turns, that is what the empire cannot forgive — not the repression, not the show trials, but the eviction notice served on the ruling class.
The true, unvarnished goal of the modern Rumptocracy is to reverse 1959. They do not wish to see Cuba become a genuine, pluralistic, democratic society — the kind of self-determining political culture one might recognize in Catalonia. No. They want to liberate Cuba’s real estate. They want to tear down the historic fabric of the island and pave the way for vast golf courses, mega-resorts, and gated Trump-Meds, returning the sovereign people of Cuba to their appointed station as a permanent class of underpaid hotel servants.
Nowhere is this absolute disregard for sovereignty more starkly crystallized than on forty-five square miles of occupied Cuban soil: the Guantánamo Bay Naval Base. Compelled by the coercive terms of the 1901 Platt Amendment and a 1903 lease signed under profound imperial duress, the United States has held this strategic enclave in perpetuity. For decades, the revolutionary government in Havana has demanded the US vacate — denouncing the base as illegally occupied territory, held by force and not by right.
To maintain the absurd pretense of a legal leasehold, the US government dutifully mails an annual rent check of $4,085. And for decades, the Cuban government has left those checks uncashed, stuffing them into desk drawers in Havana as silent, defiant proof that the land is held by raw military force, not mutual consent. The empire ignores the eviction notices, pays no real rent, and uses the illegally occupied territory as a legal black hole in which to bury its own constitution.
As the people of Cuba endure the suffocating heat and darkness, the Monroe Doctrine enters its latest and most nakedly honest chapter. Theodore Roosevelt, reflecting on the engineered secession of Panama from Colombia that handed the United States the canal zone, reportedly summarized the entire philosophy in five words:
“We stole it fair and square.”
Smedley Butler, who spent a career doing the stealing, understood the economics beneath the candor. The only purpose of this seventy-year war against a small island of ten million people — this war of blackouts and embargoes, of aircraft carriers and uncashed rent checks, of indictments timed for Independence Day — is to make the rich richer, and the poor, poorer. The Cuba of 1958 made certain men very rich indeed and they want it back.
George Washington warned us. Butler named it. Roosevelt and Hayakawa boasted of it. Seventy years of blockade, the illegal occupation of Guantánamo, a 2 a.m. military raid on a foreign capital, the deliberate targeting of an island’s power grid, and a 94-year-old man about to be indicted on Cuban Independence Day — these are not anomalies of the current moment. They are the unbroken continuation of a single blueprint. The Big Stick and the twenty-two-hour blackout are the same instrument, played in different keys.
The bumbling gaseous oaf in the Oval Office has his head so firmly lodged in his own colon that the policy beneath the flatulence is barely audible — but it is perfectly coherent. It has always been coherent. Strip the rhetoric and it reads the same in 1903, in 1959, in 1976, and today: this hemisphere is ours, its people are ours, and any nation that disagrees will be starved, raided, indicted, or sat beside by a carrier group until it says thank you and gives up.
The only question is whether the American voter — still nominally permitted a ballot — will pull their head out of their own colon long enough to smell the foul stench of a dictatorship. Ten million people sitting in the dark in Cuba, engineered there by the empire. Over 75,000 men, women, and children killed in Gaza with the full complicity of the United States. Thousands dead in Iran. Cuba in the gunsights. And American citizens — their own citizens — imprisoned without due process and deported. Will the voters in the mid-term elections finally stand against this and demand a genuine accounting for these travesties?
Namaya May 2026 Girona
Friends, sadly i write this article. If you are inclined, share it. We are profoundly saddened by what is happening in the USA. Vote as if your life depended on it. I know the cliche, if voting changed anything, they would outlaw it. But now with the midterms, Republicans, Democrats, conservatives and liberals, and all should be profoundly alarmed.
