All boy way. Oh well, the mystic God will make you feel better, but give me I am okay
Ben Franklin: The lightning in the jar.
Benjamin Franklin had an electrifying personality
Imagine the president of the United States with these qualities:
Temperance
Silence
Order
Resolution
Frugality
Industry
Sincerity
Justice
Moderation
Cleanliness
Tranquility
Chastity
He was brilliant and temperate in his opinions. He was so temperate that he was loved by all, and his funeral, was flooded with thousands of people. The Quakers claimed him as one of theirs. The Masons extolled his virtues. The Jews said, “He’s a mensch!” The Catholics said, “In charity, justice, and industry, he was in the best Spirit like Jesus.” The Vegetarian society extolled his virtues, “He was a vegetarian since the age of sixteen and was just towards animals and kind to all.” The firemen, the Librarians, the Art Guild, the beer makes and all the organizations came out to celebrate Benjamin Franklin as one of their own at his funeral.
He lived and worked with great industry guided by a profound curiosity and thirst for knowledge. He said, “I begin my day at dawn to read and study.”
. Sometimes, his inquisitiveness got him into such awful trouble. This is the story of one day of the most extraordinary journeys.
One day, Uncle Ben said, “My boy, I’ve had this insight that I can capture lightning! All we need to do is fly a kite and attach a brass key inside the Leyden jar.”
“Uncle Ben, when there is lightning outside, you go into the house; you don’t go out into a storm! With all due respect. How is it possible that a man of your intelligence could be such a blithering idiot?”
“My boy, a scientist must be fearless.”
Well, we all know the story supposedly of how in this Leyden and what happened. Yes, lightning leaped into his jar and then ran all the way through him and found its way to my Uncle’s brass shoe buckles, and he keeled over!
“Uncle, wake up!”
Then he told me this story of his incredible journey.
Uncle Ben’s Incredible Journey
He awoke in the most glorious city he had ever seen. Buildings were white marbled and grinte, and he opened his eyes and spoke to a passerby.
“Sir, what is this place? Am I in a dream?
The man said, “Go away, you homeless idiot!” and scurried away.
Perhaps he misunderstood? He saw a man dressed in blue like the police in Philadelphia. “Sir, where am I?”
The officers said. “Bum! Get a life!”
Uncle Ben was not one to be easily dismissed or trifled with. He felt in his pocket, and he had three copper pennies. I can get a fine meal and figure out exactly where I am. He walked to a dinner and saw a special for vegetable soup.
The waiter served Uncle Ben a hot bowl of soup with bread.
He said. “Buddy, you need to pay for it first.”
Ben took a shiny new copper and said, “My man, keep the change!” The man looked bewildered.
“Buddy, it’s three dollars!”
The man tried to take it away.
“No temperance! I’m a hungry man!” I’ll give you something more important than money. I’ll give you some solid advice. After all, people always paid for my advice in Poor Richard’s Almanac. Early to bed and rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”
“Is that so? I’m an immigrant from Guatemala, and ever since I was a boy, I woke up early and went to bed late at night because I had to work. I ain’t healthy, wealthy, and I’m certainly not wise. Who are you, and why are you dressed so weirdly?”
“I am Benjamin Franklin of Philadelphia. Pray tell me what year this is.”
“2024? You must be daft. A moment ago, I was walking down the broad, pleasant streets of Philadelphia. A storm came, and I was flying my kite in 1775.”
“Why would you fly a kite in a thunderstorm?”
“I was curious about electricity.”
Juan said, “1775, is that so? I got my citizenship last year and made a journey to your city in Philadelphia and read all about the ideals of the early Republic – work, temperance, resolve, and justice. All fine ideals, but our country is far from this ideal. What about this slavery issue? You discussed this, but people like George Washington arrived in Philadelphia with his slaves, and others like Thomas Jefferson, who some thought embodied the Age of Enlightenment, he had over two hundred and sixty slaves. Why didn’t you resolve this problem of slavery and left it for future generations?”
“Democracy is not always so democratic,” said Uncle
Juan pointed out all the buildings, the Washington Monument, the Capitol, and all these marble buildings.
“Remarkable,” said Ben, “Two hundred years later, there is a House of Representatives? A senate?”
Juan said, “Sadly, mostly they do the bidding of the big monopolies and the rich people, and pretend they help the little guy like myself. Even more ironic the capitol and the congress was built with slave labor.”
He joined a tour group and announced himself, “I am Benjamin Franklin of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! Let us go and visit the capitol!”
Everyone assumed he was an actor, and he regaled the crowd of Japanese tourists with stories from Poor Richard and frugality stories of rising up as a poor printer boy to becoming the man you know as Ben Franklin, representing a Yankee wisdom of charity, ingenuity, and kindness.
The tour driver said, “Let’s go to Congress!” When they arrived everybody took pictures of him with their little cameras. One man took out a one hundred dollar bill and showed him.”
“You’re perfect for an actor.” said one man.
“I am with all sincerity and modesty the real Benjamin Franklin.”
“I’ve come back to see what the United States is all about now. I was told there is a Congress and a Senate, and we have all this progress. These machines roll across the land, as do airplanes. These things fly like birds. All this technology and progress! What a remarkable country America has become!”
Suddenly, an orange-haired man in a suit waddled in. He was bigger than Uncle Ben. “Who’s that?” asked Ben
“He’s the former president. He’s demanding to be president again and believes the election was stolen from him.”
Uncle Ben said, “I saw this man like a squealing pig. He was shouting and calling for a revolution to take over the White House because he did not get his way! What madness!”
Benjamin said, “Mr. Rump, you should be ashamed of yourself. Don’t you know any sense of order, temperance, resolution, sincerity, and justice for others? These are the foundations of a man. Justice and compassion for others.”
The Rump said, “Get this damn bum away from me! I have important things to do! I will be president again! By the way can I sell you a bible?”
The bus driver told Ben of all Rump’s lies, stories, and dalliances with porn stars.
Ben told the tour driver, “Surely there must be some madness, some hysteria that is taking over because of this fool? This blithering fool cannot be president. A country leader must show temperance, kindness, frugality, moderation, and chastity in his perspective. I can’t believe he paid a fortune for a prostitute. The man must be an idiot.”
Uncle then shook his head. What can we do? What can we do? America cannot afford to have a blithering idiot like him as president.”
The lights flickered in front of his eyes, and he could not believe it when guards came in and said, “This Rump has escaped from the lunatic asylum! Find him.”
Then Uncle Ben awoke after the lightning strike that almost killed him. “Nephew, is it still 2024?”
“No, Uncle, it is 1775.” Then, he told me about this strange dream of America in 2024.
And this, at last, is the story of my Uncle Ben, who tried to capture lightning one day, “Nephew, after my journey. I’m scared for Democracy that we can allow such a buffoon to be president.”
Namaya
5 Jan 2024 for Steve T.